


We Shall Overcome

by Basmasadek



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Angsty Dean, BAMF Castiel, Bottom Dean, Caring Dean, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dying Castiel, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Loving Dean, M/M, Poisoned Castiel, Poisoning, Protective Dean Winchester, Temporary Character Death, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-07-24 07:53:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7500186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basmasadek/pseuds/Basmasadek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While on a hunt Castiel was poisoned and didn't know at first. Until the poison started slowly but surely to spread in his body destroying it more and more everyday and he tried to hide it from the Winchesters until he can't hide it anymore. The Winchesters tries to save him before its too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! English is not my first language so if there are any mistakes feel free to mention them.  
> Please leave a comment and tell me what do you guys think :D Comments are what keeps me going. :)

life was going great for Dean right now.

Everything was fine. No big evil thing trying to destroy the world. No apocalypse need to be stopped. Sam was fine, not dying or cursed. The mark was gone. And the best thing is that he gets to wake up everyday to a sleeping Castiel in his arms.

So, yeah life is good.

For the first time in forever he is happy. Honest to God happy and content. Thinking about the future with more hope than before. Thinking about his future with Castiel. Maybe even someday they will have a couple of annoying kids. They will grow old together. Both will be a grumpy old men together. Castiel promised that he will never leave him again. And for some reason he really believed it this time. Believed that Castiel will keep that promise no matter what. He will always come back to him somehow.

Dean was thinking about all of that while he was laying in bed one morning and staring at Castiel's sleeping face.

Castiel is not human but mostly is. Right now he is stuck between being human and an angel.

He sleeps and eats. But he is still stronger than all of them. He still have some grace inside him that he uses when they need it most. Still fights like a badass and Dean is pretty sure that Castiel can take down an entire army on his own. The demons and supernatural creatures alike tremble at the mention of his name. Castiel made quite a reputation among the hunters and the supernatural world. He is like a storm trapped inside a human body.

Which still makes Dean feel terrified and special that such a powerful being would choose to be with him instead of being with his kind. Choose to love him, to live with him. Dean still can't believe that Castiel agreed to stay with him in the bunker. To stay with Dean after everything that happened.

Dean smiled softly at that thought while still staring at his sleeping lover next to him.

"I thought you said staring at people while they are sleeping is creepy." Castiel murmured softly eyes still closed.

Dean chuckled softly "Only when you do it, you creep" He said back shoving Castiel gently.

Castiel smiled one of his rare smiles and opened his eyes and stared fondly at Dean. "Good morning ,Dean" He said softly.

"Morning, Angel" Dean couldn't believe how lucky he was as he stared at those beautiful blue eyes that are full of love and warmth all directed to him and him alone. Castiel doesn't look or smile at anyone like that, only Dean and Dean alone.

"What are you thinking about?" Castiel asked while taking Dean's hand and carding their fingers together.

"About how lucky I am for having you" Dean replied kissing Castiel's knuckles sweetly.

Castiel's smile widened and rested his forehead on Dean's.

"I am the lucky one" he murmured before bringing their lips together.

A loud knock at the door shattered the beautiful moment and Sam's voice coming out from outside destroyed it completely.

"Come on love birds! Time to rise and shine! I don't like setting alone on the kitchen table for a long time and I am starving. I made coffee!"

"Alright, alright we're coming you can stop shouting now, Bitch" Dean shouted back while getting up from the bed.

"You are the one who is shouting now, Jerk!"

Castiel got up from the bed too, smiling softy at their bickering. Dean caught that smile and grinned back at his lover.

Yup, life is good

***

After a quick shower they were all setting in the kitchen eating breakfast while drinking coffee.

"I think I found us a case" Sam said while scrolling some article on his laptop " it looks like a nest of vampires to me."

"Where?" Dean asked sipping from his coffee.

"Just two states over. Worth checking out if you asked me"

"Alright, we can head there after breakfast. I really need to get out of the bunker for a while."

After breakfast, each of them started to pack his bag. Half an hour later they were in the car, Sam shot gun and Castiel in the back and then they hit the road.

Every few minutes, Dean's eyes would leave the road to catches Castiel's through the mirror and smile softly at each other. Sam would roll his eyes each time and shakes his head smiling gently at them.

It was nice to see his brother and his best friend like this. All happy and in love. Dean deserve this. Deserve to be happy. Deserve to love and be loved in return.

As for Castiel, Sam can't imagine their lives without him. He was the last puzzle piece that came to complete their little family. Sam sees him as a brother. Someone he can go full nerd with, can discuss books, lore and hunts with. He became a part of Sam's life as much as he was part of Dean's life now. It was nice to have someone as freakishly smart as him for a change. He was bored of being the only smart one in this family.

When they reached their destination, they parked in front of a motel. Castiel was already asleep in the backseat. Dean stopped the car in the parking lot and them turned around in his seat to stare at the sleeping angel with love filled eyes.

"Dude, you're so whipped" Sam laughed at the blush that creeped up to his brother's cheeks.

"Shut up! Can you really blame me if I am?" dean murmured returning his gaze back to Castiel's sleeping form his eyes turning wistful. "Just look at him. He looks so.. he looks so human right now. So… fragile and vulnerable. It's hard to imagine that he is a very powerful being that can kill you easily if he wanted to and yet he hasn't done it until now. I wouldn't really blame him if he did to be honest."

Sam snorts "yeah, sure. As if he will harm a hair from your head. He freaks out when you sneeze, dude!"

"No, he doesn't!"

"Yes, he does! He worships the ground you walk on"

"You two argue very loudly" Castiel's sleeping voice came from the back cutting off Dean's retort.

"Come on sleeping beauty, we're here. Let's get you inside." Dean said sweetly to the frowning angel in the back.

They booked two rooms and as usual Sam chose the furthest room so he doesn't get traumatized by them again. God! They can be really loud! At least Dean is, which is worst! He really didn't need to know that his brother really like to take it up his ass that much!. Which really not a big surprise, to be honest.

They met in Dean and Castiel's room an hour later to discuss the hunt.

***

They found the nest easily.

They were now inside the car outside the warehouse where the vampires are hiding.

"Alright guys, we will get in together quietly so we can have the element of surprise. Got it?" Dean said and when the other two nodded, the three of them got out of the car holding their machetes then walked slowly towards the back door.

There was over twenty vampires inside but the element of surprise and having a totally badass angel by your side really helped.

Castiel literally beheaded half of them on his own without breaking a sweat! Dean know he shouldn't be turned on by that but he can't really help.

But while the three of them were busy with the fight, no one noticed the shadowy figure that stood on the highest window in the warehouse and watched the fight below.

The figure raised it's hand which was holding a crossbow, it's eyes never leaving Castiel who was beheading three vamps at once and pointed the crossbow at him then he shoot.

A small arrow shot out of the crossbow and pierced Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel was startled when the arrow pierced him and almost got tackled by the last vampire if it wasn't for Dean who beheaded it before it touched the Angel.

"What happened? Where did that arrow came from? Are you alright?" Dean showered Castiel with questions while he checked his lover for other injuries worriedly.

"I am fine, Dean" Castiel reassured him while pulling the arrow out of his shoulder " Probably one of the vampires shot it at me to distract me. It's nothing." He threw the arrow to the floor carelessly without much concern.

"Are you sure it didn't hurt you badly or anything?" Sam asked worriedly.

"I am sure. Don't worry, I am certain it was nothing." Then he turned to Dean "What are we waiting for? Let's go back to the motel now."

And that was the start of everything.

The start of the end of Dean's unfairly short happy life.


	2. Chapter 2

The three of them went back to the motel then Sam went to his room to call it a night while Castiel and Dean went to theirs to do their nightly rituals before sleep, and by rituals he means 'Making love until both of them can't move'.

Three hours later, Castiel suddenly woke up gasping for breath violently.

He felt like there was a large rock pressing on his chest making him unable to breath properly or at all.

He gasped and heaved for air harshly trying to be as quiet as he could so he wouldn't wake the tired man beside him.

He kept trying to breath properly for ten minutes and started to panic when he failed.

He untangled himself from Dean's arms and legs that were wrapped around him like octopus arms then stumbled towards the window and opened it and breathed in a huge gulp of air.

He begun to calm down and breath normally after a few minutes. Castiel leaned against the window frame and begun to think about what just happened.

He had no idea why that happened. He was fine when he fell asleep, he didn't do anything that might caused this.

Maybe he was tired from the hunt that's all.

"Cas?" Dean's sleeping voice came from the bed behind him interrupting his thoughts. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

Castiel turned facing Dean and smiled softly at him. "I am fine" he reassured "I just needed some fresh air. Go back to sleep."

"How can I go back to sleep if you are not here?" Dean pouted adorably at him that Castiel can't help but chuckle softly.

He went back to the bed and laid back down on his back. Dean scooted closer and rested his head on Castiel's chest and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Better?" Castiel murmured into Dean's hair.

"Much better." Dean muttered back pressing his face into Castiel's chest. "Now sleep. Am tired"

Castiel chuckled again pressing a soft kiss to Dean's forehead, then went back to sleep forgetting the whole not able to breath thing completely.

***

In the morning, they were getting ready to go on another hunt Sam found the day before.

Castiel was brushing his teeth in the bathroom while Dean was packing their things.

"What did you dream about yesterday?" Dean asked suddenly.

Castiel paused for a second then asked in confusion "What dream?"

"Last night, you were shivering a little and murmuring something under you breath I couldn't hear. So, I figured you were having a nightmare. So what was it about?"

Castiel couldn't really remember anything about a nightmare so he just shrugged "Nothing of import. It was just a dream."

Castiel spit the toothpaste into the sink and was about to open the tap when he noticed something.

There was blood mixed with the toothpaste in the sink.

He kept staring at the blood unable to tear his eyes away from it until he felt Dean's presence right behind him.

"Cas?" Dean asked worried when he noticed him staring at the sink intensely.

Castiel opened the tap quickly to drain the blood before Dean sees it.

"Sorry, I got distracted. What were you saying?" he said looking back at Dean with a warm smile.

Dean kept looking at him with worry and suspicion for what felt like hours.

"Nothing" he said slowly still staring at him.

A knocking on the motel's room door thankfully interrupted the tense moment.

"Guys, are you ready to leave now? I need breakfast!" Sam's voice called.

Dean looked at him one more time then went to grab their bags.

"Coming, Sammy"

***

They were in a morgue investigating what looked like a werewolf victim.

They were checking the body over when Castiel suddenly felt dangerously dizzy.

His head was swimming, his vision has dark edges and he can't hear or feel anything happening around him anymore, except for the fact that he feels like he was drowning and falling fast.

He only comes into when he found himself on the ground, his head in Dean's lap who was staring at him with panic and fear in his eyes. Sam on his other side with the same look in his eyes.

"Cas?! What happened?! Are you okay? How do you feel?" Dean showered him with questions in a panicked voice that made him feel almost dizzy again.

"It's alright, Dean. Don't worry. I just felt a little dizzy. Maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night." He quickly tried to calm his panicked lover and his brother.

"But Cas you're an angel. You can't get dizzy." Sam said worriedly.

"Maybe I am becoming more human everyday."

They didn't look convinced but they helped him up nonetheless.

"Come on, let's get you to the car" Dean said wrapping an arm around him and helping him to get out of the morgue.

***

They were back at the bunker now after finishing the last hunt.

The dizziness hit Castiel several times during the hunt. Each time Dean panicked and showered him with questions he doesn't have an answer to.

He really have no idea what's going on with him, but he begun to get worried. Of course he didn't share his worries with the Winchesters because he really doesn't know what to tell them and most importantly he doesn't want to worry them even more.

He was washing the dishes after dinner when violent coughing hit him suddenly out of nowhere.

He kept coughing into his fist for ten minutes without stopping once and grabbed the counter with his free hand to steady himself.

When its over he breathed heavily trying to calm down and prevent the wave of panic that threatens to overtake him.

He felt something dripping from his mouth and grabbed a tissue to wipe it off and looked at it.

He froze and the panic really did overtake him then.

Blood. The tissue is full of blood that came from him.

Something is wrong. Something is terribly wrong and he can't deny it or pretend it doesn't exist anymore.

"Cas? Are you here?" he heard Sam's voice calling him and he hurried to throw the bloodied tissue in the trash before Sam comes in.

"Yes, Sam. I am here." He called back trying to calm himself and act usual.

Sam came into the kitchen and looked at him strangely. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I am fine. Did you need something, Sam?" Castiel asked innocently.

"Yes, there is something I need your help in. back in the library" Sam answered slowly.

"Alright," Castiel went to the library but Sam stayed in the kitchen looking around until he noticed the bloodied tissue in the trash.

He walked towards it and stood there staring at it his heart clinching in worry.

"What's going on with you, Cas?" he said to himself worried for his best friend.

***

It was 3 am when he felt it.

Dean was sleeping when he felt strong shivers coming from the body next to him.

He sat up quickly and looked at Castiel with fear as Castiel's body shivered violently as id every cell in his body was vibrating strongly and it looked like Castiel was hallucinating murmuring nonsense under his breath unaware of what's happening to him.

"Cas! Cas, wake up!" He grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard to wake him up "Cas, please baby, wake up! Cas!" 

Castiel's eyes opened suddenly and sat up quickly panting hard.

Dean wrapped his arms around him tightly like he was trying to shield him from the world.

"What's going on with you, Cas?" he murmured voice filled with worry and fear.

Castiel looked at him for a few seconds expression unreadable then said "Nothing, it was just a bad dream. That's all" he gave a smile that didn't even reach his eyes "Sorry I woke you up. Go back to sleep now."

He laid back down pulling Dean with him and rested his head on Dean's chest. Dean stared at him fear clawing at his heart making him unable to go back to sleep for the rest of the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Something is definitely wrong with Castiel.

At first, Dean was just suspecting it, but now he is completely certain of it.

For the past two weeks Castiel just got worse everyday. Every time he eats something it stays for ten minutes then he is running to the bathroom to throw it up. He can't sleep because every night violent shivers hit him stealing sleep away from him. He coughs all the time and Dean always sees blood in the tissues he use to wipe his mouth after it.

So as a result of all that, Castiel is deathly pale, seemed to lost some weight and has dark circles under his eyes.

And Dean was scared.

Hell, he was terrified for his lover.

And the worst thing is that he doesn't even know what's wrong with him. What caused all of this. And every time he ask Castiel about it he just says he was fine but that never convinced Dean anyway.

Right now, Dean was standing in the doorway staring at his lover curled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders looking like the most fragile, breakable thing Dean ever saw in his life.

He didn't feel Sam coming to stand beside until he heard him talking.

"He got worse, didn't he?" Sam asked also looking at Castiel with concern.

Dean turned to him for a second then brought his back to Castiel "What do you think?"

"I think we need to do something instead of just watching him like that"

"How can we do something if we don't even know what's wrong with him?"

"Did you ask him?"

Dean turned his eyes to Sam to glare at him "What do you think, genius?"

"You know, I am still a celestial being, which means I still can hear you" Castiel interjected with a tired voice.

The Winchesters just sighed and went to join him. Dean sat next to him on the couch while Sam sat on the armchair.

"We are just concerned about you, Cas" Dean said in a gentle voice running his hands up and down Castiel's arm "You are getting worse every day and we have no idea what's wrong with you."

"I know." Castiel smiled at him sweetly "You don't have to worry. What is happening to me will probably be over soon and my grace will fix whatever it is"

"Don't you know what's wrong with you?" Sam asked confused.

"No, I don't and it doesn't matter it will be over soon."

Dean had trouble believing that but he tried to convince himself that he believed it. He wrapped his arm around Castiel's shoulders and pulled him close.

"let's watch a movie or something since we are all here."

***

A few days later Castiel seemed to be a little better than before.

Not completely but better than before at least.

Sam found a hunt a few towns over that sounded like demons.

"When are we leaving? Castiel asked standing up from the table.

"There is no 'we' you are not coming." Dean said standing too to face him.

"Excuse me?" Castiel raised his left eyebrow at Dean, the one that Dean secretly called his 'Dom Eyebrow' the one that Castiel always use on Dean because he knew Dean will submit when he does.

Dean held his ground and repeated "You are not coming, you are in no condition to fight."

"I didn't ask for your opinion nor do I need it. There is nothing you will do or say that will stop me from going." Castiel said in his cold, stern soldier voice that always leaves no room for arguing.

"Cas, please you are tired you can't possibly go like this!" Dean pleaded trying to get to him.

Castiel leaned towards him looking directly at his eyes and holding them with his own.

"I am coming, Dean. And that's final."

He turned on his heels and left the room head held high.

Dean and Sam stared at his retreating back.

" Now I know who is the dominant one in this relationship" Sam snorts "Of course I already knew from the start but now I am sure."

Dean glared daggers at him and muttered "Shut up" at him then followed his lover out of the room.

***

The ride to the hunt was tense as hell.

Castiel kept glaring outside of the window while Dean kept glaring at Castiel's reflection in the rearview mirror.

Sam tried to make himself invisible as he could.

When those two fight, no one wins especially not him.

They went on like this for the five hour drive and Sam never been so relieved when Dean parked in front of the motel.

"So, one room or two?" Sam said trying to light up the mood but then the couple turned their glares towards him.

"Two rooms it is." Sam nodded to himself and got out of the car and ran towards the motel.

***

When they entered the room Castiel went straight to the bathroom to shower locking the door behind himself.

He never do that unless he is really pissed at Dean.

Dean sighed heavily and sat on the bed holding his head in his hands.

He knew how much Castiel hates when someone say he is too weak or not strong enough but he can't help it. Castiel is not in his full strength right now and all the demons and angels on the planet wants him dead. How can he defend himself when he is like that? And Dean knew perfectly well that he can't protect him all the time, not mention that Castiel never allows Dean to protect him or to take care of him. Always saying it is his job to do. To protect Dean and take care of him. Not the other way around.

And Dean hates that completely.

He raised his head to stare at the closed bathroom door listening to the shower inside and knowing that his lover is in there wet and naked and he is not even allowed to join him.

This wasn't fair.


	4. Chapter 4

That night, they lie in bed with Castiel facing away from Dean while Dean was staring at Castiel's back.

He can't sleep and he knew perfectly well that Castiel was not asleep either.

Dean kept staring hard until he couldn't take it anymore. He scooted closer to Castiel and wrapped his arm hesitantly around his waist and pressed his face into the back of his neck.

"If you think cuddling will make me less mad, then you are thinking too highly of yourself." Castiel murmured.

Dean pressed a kiss to Castiel's neck "I know."

Castiel sighed and turned over in Dean's arms to face him.

"I am still angry." 

"I know."

"And pissed."

"I know"

"You are annoying me."

"I know"

Castiel chuckled softly and shook his head fondly at him. "You are an idiot."

"But I am your idiot." Dean grinned at him and pulled him closer.

"Why can't I stay mad at you for long?" Castiel scowled at him.

"Because you love me and I am too awesome to be mad at?"

Castiel smiled softly at him and leaned in sealing their lips together in a soft kiss.

"Yeah I guess I do. And no you are not." He murmured against Dean's lips.

Dean kissed him harder and deepened the kiss, pushing Castiel to lie on his back while he straddled him.

When Castiel tried to roll them over to take control Dean stopped him and broke their kiss.

"Nope, you will lie down and I will do all the work." Dean said unbuttoning his shirt.

So Castiel lied down and enjoyed the ride.

***

Sam kept knocking on Dean and Castiel's room for fifteen minutes without anyone answering.

"Dean? Cas? You in there?" he called for the hundredth time. "Oh, fuck it" he unlocked the door and entered the room preparing himself for whatever he was about to see.

He was not disappointed. On the bed, two very naked bodies were laying with, thank god, a sheet covering them. Castiel was on his back while Dean is draped over him and they were connected from head to toe that Sam couldn't which limb belonged to who.

Finally, they felt his presence and started to wake up.

"Come on, love birds. Its time to wake up. I am really glad that you made up, but we are still on a hunt." Sam yelled at them to move.

"Why didn't you knock, you perv?" Dean murmured raising his head from Castiel's chest to glare at his brother.

"I did! For fifteen minutes straight! But apparently you two had a wild night that you didn't even hear me"

"Yeah, it was an amazing night." Dean smiled like an idiot and moved to kiss Castiel's lips lovingly "Someone here becomes an animal in bed when he is pissed off."

"Oh my god! Oh my god! I really didn't need to hear that!" Sam yelled trying to cover his ears and eyes at the same time. "Now will you please move already!"

Both Dean and Castiel looked at him then at each other then back at him Dean's face flushed bright red." Can you give us a moment, Sam? Please?" Castiel said also flushing a little.

"Why? I have already seen everything and you don't exactly have something that I don't have."

Dean's face flushed even more and stared down at himself while biting his lip.

Sam's eyes widened in understanding." Wait. He is still inside….. y-you, isn't he?" 

Dean hid his face in Castiel's neck to hide from his brother while Castiel looked sheepishly at Sam.

"Oh my god! when you are finished call me or don't call me. you know what? I will call. See ya" Sam ran out of the room hitting his knee into a chair in his rush to get out.

***  
"Well, that was embarrassing." Dean muttered into Castiel's neck.

Castiel chuckled softly "He is the one who entered the room in the first place. So, he should deal with the consequences."

Dean pulled back to kiss him softly on the lips. "Come on, we need a shower." He raised his hips carefully to release Castiel's dick from inside him, hissing when it was pulled out of him. "Now I really need a shower."

He got up from the bed and entered the bathroom leaving the door open for Castiel.

Castiel stood up and when he was about to follow him he started to cough violently harder than anytime before.

He fell back on the bed and tried to calm down. The coughing continue for five minutes then stopped.

Castiel breathed heavily and looked down at his hand, which he was coughing into, to find it covered in blood.

He sighed and grabbed a tissue to clean it and heard Dean's voice calling for him from the shower. He got up and joined his lover in there.

***

Sam kept giving them dirty looks over breakfast in some nearby diner.

"I told you. You should have knocked." Dean told him shoving bacon into his mouth.

"And I told you I did!"

"Then next time, knock louder!"

Castiel tuned them out completely while he was messaging his temples scowling in pain.

Dean looked at him with concern "Cas? You okay?"

"Yes, just a headache. That's all."

Sam and Dean kept looking at him for a few more seconds then went back to their food.

The truth is, Castiel was completely tired. He sees in double, he couldn't look at the food without feeling his stomach protesting and clinching painfully, and the lights were hurting his eyes.

As much as he hated to admit it, he really was stating to regret coming on this hunt and wished he had listened to Dean when he had told him to stay behind. But apparently he was to proud and too stubborn to admit it.

He had no idea how was he going to finish this hunt without collapsing. 

And of course, he wasn't going to let the Winchesters know that.

Stupid pride. And stupid stubbornness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if anyone was waiting for smut :D I never wrote smut before so I don't know if I can actually write it :D hope you liked the chapter please tell me what do you guys think so far :D


	5. Chapter 5

They followed the demons trail to an old factory outside the town. They observed from afar to find a way in.

"How many in there?" Dean asked looking at Castiel.

"Six inside, five outside." Castiel answered.

"How are we going to take down eleven demons?" Sam asked.

Castiel observed the old factory for a few seconds before making up his mind. "I will go there take down the ones outside while you two enter from the back."

"Are you crazy? How the hell are you going to take down five demons in this condition?" Dean said incredulously.

"I took down twice this number on my own before." 

"Yeah Cas, we know that. But Dean is right. You are not in full strength right now." Sam tried to reason with him but all he got was the glare turning on him instead.

"I can take care of myself." He growled.

"But-" Dean was cut off by Castiel's glare.

"Wait here until I take care of it." Then he got out of the car before giving them time to argue.

***

Sam and Dean sat in the car, watching Castiel's retreating back as he walked towards the factory.

"I don't like this." Dean announced looking completely unhappy.

"Believe me, neither do I " Sam responded.

"Damn his stupid stubbornness. And damn his stupid pride. Why don't he just admit that there is something wrong with him and he needs help." Dean said angrily.

"That doesn't sound like him. Or you." Sam turned to him raising an eyebrow.

"What? Just because we are together that doesn't mean he has to be like me." 

"Try to tell that to yourself." 

Dean sighed heavily and watched Castiel who was almost at the factory now.

"I am worried, Sam." Dean confessed his eyes showing how concerned he was.

"Me too, Dean." Sam sighed glancing at Castiel. "Me too"

***

The moment Castiel reached the factory, he was surrounded by demons almost immediately.

"Well, well, look who we have here." One of the demons snarled. "You shouldn't have came here alone, blue eyes. You do realize there is a price on your head, right?"

"Yes, but I never implied that I am an easy catch either." Castiel said coldly grabbing his Angel blade.

All the demons attacked at once. Unfortunately for him, they weren't only five, they were eight.

But Castiel fought fiercely and without hesitation and managed to take down four of them.

When he was fighting with the fifth, he stumbled as his vision started to blacken at the edges.

No, no, no! Not right now! He thought wildly as he started to sway on his feet.

The demons took advantage and kept attacking him. Castiel waved his blade blindly trying to drive them away from him.

He kept that up until he couldn't stand anymore and he collapsed on his knees, hands planted on the ground.

He tried to catch his breath but realized that he couldn't. He can't breath! As if his lungs stopped working suddenly. The world started to fade around him and he can't even feel the demons kicking him and grabbing at him anymore.

He should have listened to Dean.

***

"Something is wrong." Dean sat up straight the moment he saw Castiel swaying.

Sam's eyes widened in panic when he saw Castiel falling to his knees "Drive! Dammit! Drive!" he screamed at his brother panicking.

Dean was already driving at full speed before the scream left his brother's lips.

Dean reached the outside of the factory to see his lover on his hands and knees eyes glazed over and unseeing while the demons kicked and punched him.

Dean stopped the car violently and him and Sam raised there shotguns and started firing rock salt at the demons to drive them away from Castiel.

"Cas! Get into the car! Now!" Dean yelled at Castiel while reaching behind himself to open the back door.

The yell seemed to bring Castiel back to what's going on and stood up on an unsteady legs to get inside the car.

The moment the back door was closed, Dean drove as fast as he could to get away from the demons while Sam never stopped shooting them until they were far enough to be safe.

"What the hell happened there?! What the hell is happening to you?! And I swear if you tell me 'I am fine' again I will kill you myself!" Dean shouted at the angel in the back seat.

"I don't know." Castiel murmured tiredly eyes unfocused and exhausted.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"It means that I don't know what the hell is wrong with me! So stop asking questions I don't have the answer to!" Castiel yelled back angrily glaring hard at Dean.

His yell made Dean snap his mouth shut and looked at him with worry in the rear view mirror. Castiel never yelled at him, ever. 

The fact that he just did prove that he was as scared and worried as Dean was. And that scared Dean even more.

"You really have no idea what's going on with you, Cas?" Sam questioned turning to him.

"Yes Sam, I have no idea what's going on. All I know that I started feeling strange and tired almost three weeks ago. I cough blood, I wake up in the middle of the night unable to breath, I get dizzy and disoriented most of the time, can't keep food in my stomach for more than an hour and most importantly I am really fucking tired and exhausted all the fucking time!"

You know shit is real when Castiel start cussing like this.

The brothers shared a worried look. "Why didn't you say anything earlier?" Dean asked in a soothing voice, trying to calm down the angry angel.

"Didn't know what to say since I don't know what's the problem is." Castiel was looking more and more tired each second.

"What do you think?" Dean asked looking at Sam.

"I don't know, Dean. Maybe he had some disease or a curse or something."

"What do you think, Cas?" Dean looked at Castiel in the mirror but he didn't see him. "Cas?"

"Y-yes, D-Dean?" Castiel's very tired voice answered.

Both Sam and Dean turned around fast in their seats to see Castiel sprawled out on the seat, eyes glazed over and blood dripping from his mouth.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean shouted stopping the car violently and got out running to the back door and opened it. He kneeled down at Castiel's head holding him gently.

"Cas? Cas, Come on stay with me!."

Sam was leaning over his seat to look at Castiel properly he reached out a hand resting it on Castiel's forehead.

"God, Dean! He is burning up!." Sam's eyes widened in fear.

"D-De-an." Castiel uttered then closed his eyes head falling to the side heavily.

"Cas! Stay with me! Wake up!."

But Castiel didn't wake up.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam drove the car with crazy speed.

His eyes move toward the rearview mirror every 5 seconds to check on the unconscious Castiel laying over Dean's lap.

"Did he wake up? Did his temperature decrease?" Sam asked, his voice full of worry.

"No! For the hundredth time, NO! Nothing has changed and I don't know what to do!" Dean yelled at him looking completely panicked.

"Dean! Calm down! You won't be able to help him if you lose your mind like that! You need to calm down."

Dean took a deep breath and tried to calm his racing heart. He looked down at Castiel's deathly pale, sweat covered face and his heart ached painfully in his chest.

"Just drive faster, Sam. We need to reach the motel to take care of him."

The moment the words left his mouth, Castiel started to shiver violently, shaking the whole car.

"What is it? What's happening now?" Sam shouted in panic.

"He’s shivering! But this time worse than before." Dean gathered Castiel to his chest and held him tightly as he tried to stop the shivering.

The shivers didn't stop until they reached the motel. Dean sighed in relief when they parked the car.

Sam got out of the car and moved quickly to open the back door for his brother and friend.

Dean carried Castiel out of the car and into the motel room to lay him on their bed. Sam followed close behind him.

"Remove his shoes." Dean ordered while he removed Castiel's jacket and over shirt, leaving him with just his T-shirt.

Sam obeyed and quickly removed Castiel’s shoes and socks. During all of this, Castiel never woke up or even stirred. If it wasn't for his chest rising up and down, Dean would have thought he was dead. 

Dean went to the bathroom and wet a small towel with cool water, then went back to Castiel and placed the towel on his forehead in an attempt to decrease his temperature a little.

"Now what?" Sam asked, concerned.

"I don't know, Sam. I don't know what's going on and have no idea how to help him." Dean responded tiredly and looked scared and lost.

"Ok, let's think calmly." Sam said as he grabbed a chair and sat on it. "When did all of this start?"

"About three weeks ago." Dean answered, his eyes never left Castiel's pale face.

"Are you sure?"

"That's what Cas said before."

"So, it started right after that vampire hunt we did, then."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Did something happened to him during it? Did he get hurt or injured somehow?"

Dean thought for a few seconds trying to recall the hunt again in his mind. Then it hit him suddenly.

"Wait, I remember something. That arrow that was shot at him during the fight with the vampires."

"Right! I remember it! I didn't understand then why a vampire would shoot arrows at hunters and also, it wasn't a kill shot, it barely hurt at all."

Sam stood up and started to pace in the room. "It all make sense now. All of that started after that hunt. And nothing strange happened during it, except for the arrow incident." He turned to Dean, eyes wide with understanding. "That arrow must have been poisoned! And the poison had been spreading in his body slowly ever since then!"

Dean's eyes widened in horror, "But that was three weeks ago! That means that the poison has now spread into many places in his body! How the hell are we going to get it out of him now?!"

Sam thought for a few seconds as he looked at Castiel's unresponsive face.

"We need to check that arrow. We need to know the kind of the poison on it. Maybe we will be able to make an antidote for it then," he turned to Dean, "Do you know what Castiel did to it?"

"He pulled it out of him then threw it on the floor of that warehouse." 

"Ok, I will go back there and find it." Sam walked towards the door.

"Wait, are you going alone?" Dean asked as he walked towards him.

"Yes, you need to stay here with him."

"The three of us can go."

"Do you really think he’s in any condition to be moved?" Sam asked and raised an eyebrow at him.

Dean turned towards his lover passed out on the bed and gazed at him for a few seconds.

"Fine, go," he sighed in defeat.

Just when Sam was about to open the door Dean spoke again.

"Do you really think that would help him?" Dean's eyes were wide with concern and fear.

"That's all we’ve got till now." Sam responded, avoiding Dean's vulnerable look and then went out the door.

***

Dean sat on a chair beside the bed and just watched his lover as he slept.

Dean now was convinced that the universe hated him.

Just when he was happy for the first time since forever, his source of happiness had gotten poisoned and was properly dying.  
This isn't fair.

Castiel didn't deserve this.

Castiel had a pure heart. He never hurt anything unless it was to protect himself or them. He was nice, compassionate, always cared about others and never cared for himself, always put others before himself.

Castiel deserved everything that was good.

Dean really had no idea what he would do if Castiel ever left him.

He knew that Castiel would never do that to him. Would never leave him. Because he promised he wouldn't ever leave him.

But right now as he watched Castiel, dark circles under his eyes, skin so pale, Dean couldn't help but be afraid.

He couldn't live without Castiel. He just couldn't.

He would die without him.

So, he can't let Castiel die.

He’ll make damn sure of it.

He leaned toward Castiel and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

"You are going to be fine, Cas" Dean whispered against his skin "I will make sure that you will be. I promise."

And Dean never broke his promises. Ever.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam reached the warehouse pretty fast.

Right now, he began his search for the poisoned arrow he came all the way here for.

"Now, if I were a poisoned arrow, where would I be?" he murmured to himself, trying to hide just how worried he was.

He should have noticed first when the symptoms of the poison started to appear in Castiel. He was the smart one, after all. Or at least, he used to be.

If he had noticed then, they would have helped Castiel before it went too far. But now, after three weeks, Sam was afraid he might lose his best friend.

Sam drove away that last thought from his head just as he found the evil looking arrow on the floor.

Sam pulled out a tissue from his pocket and used it to pick up the arrow and brought it closer to his face to study it closely.

It was completely black and looked scary. He had no idea how Castiel wasn't fazed at all when he was shot by it.

Sam pulled out his phone, dialed a number and then brought it to his ear.

"Hey, Bobby," Sam greeted when Bobby picked up.

"Hey, boy. How are you and the cheesy couple?" Bobby responded gruffly.

"Yeah, about that. We really need your help."

"Why? What happened? Someone’s hurt?" 

"You could say that," Sam answered while returning back to the car with the arrow. "Do you still know how to analyze poison and things?"

"Yeah, why?"

"It's a long story, I will fill you in on the way. I’ll text you the address of the motel we’re staying at. Can you meet me there?" Sam got inside the car and prepared to go back.

"Sure, kid. I will be there as soon as possible."

Sam ended the call, then drove back to his brother and friend.

***

Castiel woke up slowly, as he tried to remember what happened, where he is and who he was.

When everything came back to him, his eyes opened slowly. He felt a hand card through his hair, another placed on his hand and a soothing voice talking to him.

"Hey, Cas. How do you feel?" Dean asked, peering at his lover in concern.

Castiel turned his eyes to him and studied him for a long time as if he was trying to remember him.

"Terrible," Castiel answered, blunt as usual.

"Well, good to know you’re not hiding it anymore," Dean said and rolled his eyes.

Castiel tried to get out of the bed but was stopped by Dean.

"What the hell do you think you’re doing?" Dean demanded, pushing him back down on the bed.

"What we should be doing. Killing the rest of the demons," Castiel replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, you are not. You’re staying here and the only way for you to get out is over my dead body."

Castiel sighed, "Dean, there are still demons out there. Are we going to leave them there to kill more people?" Castiel reasoned.

"I don't care right now, Cas! Someone else can handle it. The only thing that I care about right now is that you lay down and let me take care of you!" Dean yelled at him.

Castiel stopped and stared at Dean strangely like Dean was the oddest thing he ever laid eyes on.

"I don't need you to take care of me, Dean. I can care for myself." 

Dean snapped, "No, Cas! I am allowed to take care and protect you! You do it all the time for me, so why don't you let me do the same for you?"

Castiel glanced at Dean for a few seconds then sighed heavily, lay back down on the bed and looked away from Dean.

"I do it because I am your guardian angel. I am the one who is supposed to protect you, to keep you away from harm. To take care of you. Not the other way around. I am supposed to be the strong one. The caring one. And if I am weak, then I am useless and undeserving of you," Castiel whispered, still not meeting Dean's eyes.

Dean sat there in the chair, eyes wide and shocked. He stared at his lover, heart filled with love, adoration and pain.

"Cas, you will never be useless. And I’m the one who doesn't deserve you," Dean started carding his fingers in Castiel's hair, "And you are allowed to have your weak moments. You’re always going to be my guardian angel, Cas. Even in your weakest moments. You deserve someone to take care of you, too, once in a while."

"You are the one who deserves that, Dean. You take care and protect everyone around you. You deserve someone who would do that to you, too."

Dean smiled sweetly at him, "Then, how about we agree on something? We both will take care of each other. And we both save each other. How does sound to you?"

Castiel didn't look happy with that idea but he nodded anyways, unable to deny Dean anything he asked.

Dean chuckled softly as he leaned down to press a kiss to Castiel's forehead.

"You are one stubborn son of a bitch."

"I learned that from the best."

"No, I’m pretty sure you learned that on your own."

Dean took in the sight of his lover. Castiel looked worse than ever. He was too pale, could barely move and his eyes were too bright.

Dean's heart clenched in fear for his lover. He couldn't stand to see his badass angel look weak and fragile like that.

A loud knock on their motel room door pulled Dean from his thoughts. He stood up, gun in his hand just to be safe, and opened the door carefully.

"Bobby? What are you doing here?" Dean cried out in surprise but pulled the old man into a hug anyway.

"Your brother called and told me everything. So, I’m here to help," Bobby answered while entering the room.

His eyes landed on Castiel on the bed and his eyes widened in shock at his weakened state.

"Castiel? God, you look worse than what Sam told me," Bobby exclaimed, voice full of worry.

"Hello to you, too, Bobby," Castiel responded and smiled weakly at him.

Bobby just stood there for a few seconds, frowning at him in concern, then turned his eyes to Dean.

"Call your brother and tell him to hurry up," Bobby ordered, "We need to save this kid. And fast."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, Bobby is alive. because he doesn't deserve to die!!!


	8. Chapter 8

Sam came back an hour later with the arrow.

Bobby already had his tools and equipment laid out and ready to use as soon as Sam came back.

Right now, Sam and Bobby worked as they sat at the table. Bobby looked down the scope of an apparently a handmade microscope that Dean had no idea how he managed to build, but he’d stopped asking such questions a long time ago, while Sam tried to get more samples from the arrow.

Dean made soup because the idiot that he called his lover forgot to eat, as usual. The stupid son of a bitch never remembered to eat unless Dean reminded him of that or he would just starve to death.

The aforementioned idiot was asleep on the bed, had fallen asleep half an hour ago, which worried Dean even more because Castiel didn't like to sleep much and the fact that he went back to sleep told him that it wasn't intentional.

"Did you guys find anything yet?" Dean asked after he placed the soup on the stove.

"No, not yet. We’re still trying to analyze whatever is on that arrow but it seems to be more complicated than we initially thought," Sam answered and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Complicated, how?" Dean asked, coming over to the table.

"It turned out that it’s not just one substance on it," Bobby answered while he raised his eyes from the microscope, "It is more like several substances mixed to make one undefined thing. So we had to analyze each one of them separately."

"Is that going to take long?" Dean questioned in worry.

"We’re going as fast as we can, Dean."

Dean was about to ask another question but was interrupted by a sudden harsh coughing from the prone form bed.

The three of them turned so fast towards the bed only to find Castiel had sat up upon it, very awake, one hand clutched to his chest in pain while he coughed violently into his fist.

"Cas!" Dean and Sam ran to Castiel's side. Dean started rubbing up and down his back in an attempt to calm him but Castiel only coughed harder.

"Cas! Try to slow down or you will hurt your ribs!" Sam exclaimed and thumped Castiel on the back.

Bobby stood there by the table, eyes wide, unsure what to do to help.

After a painful fifteen minutes, where Castiel never stopped coughing, he started to finally calm down and stop.

Castiel gasped for breath and moved his fist away from his mouth. Sam and Dean were horrified to find that his mouth, lips and fist were covered in blood.

"God, Cas." Dean whispered, heart clenched in fear as he grabbed a tissue and started to clean all the blood while Castiel tried to catch his breath.

Castiel now looked even more tired than he had before. He was deteriorating too fast for them to keep up.

"Sam, come here. We need to analyze that thing faster than before." Bobby said voice full of concern.

Sam stood up reluctantly, unwilling to leave Castiel's side. Castiel glanced at him smiling tiredly.

"I am fine now, Sam. You don't have to worry." Castiel tried to reassure him but knew he wouldn't convince anyone in the room right now.

Sam sighed and went back to sit at the table.

***

Castiel turned his gaze to Dean and met his wide scared and worried eyes. "Dean, I am really fine right now. Stop looking at me like that."

Dean tried to make his eyes look less panicked but he knew he failed miserably.

"You need to eat. I made you soup. I will bring some to you," he said instead and stood up.

"I am not really hungry, Dean," Castiel argued but was met by a glare for his troubles. 

"I am going to bring the soup and you are going to eat it. Do I make myself clear?" Dean ordered, his glare intensified.

Castiel decided not to argue and just nodded tiredly.

The truth is, Castiel is definitely not fine. His chest hurt so much and his legs felt so weak that he wasn't sure whether he could actually walk on them or not. But he wasn't dare to mention that right now. Everyone in the room was already worried enough and he didn't wish to increase that worry.

Castiel hated the situation he was in right now. Too weak, useless, unable to help and he made all the people he cared about worried and scared. He didn't want to be a burden or a liability to them. 

Dean came back with a bowl of soup placed on a tray and sat next to him on the bed.

"Here. Eat it all," Dean ordered and handed him the bowl.

Castiel raised his hands to take it from him and was shocked to find that his hands shook and made him unable to hold it.

Unfortunately for him, Dean had noticed and took the bowl back and scooped a spoonful of soup and raised it to Castiel's mouth.

Castiel's face burned with shame and embarrassment. He was completely useless now. He couldn't even eat on his own. Castiel looked away from Dean as he lowered his eyes in shame and pain.

"Cas?" Dean inquired with concern and put the spoon back in the bowl. "What's wrong?"

Castiel just shook his head but didn't answer or raise his eyes.

Dean grabbed Castiel's chin gently to make him meet his eyes and repeated his question.

"I don't like this, Dean," Castiel finally answered, " I am useless. I can't help. I can't stand up. I keep worrying you. And now I can't even eat on my own."

"Cas, you are poisoned," Dean said gently, " You are not useless. And I will always worry about you no matter what. You will be back to normal and you are going to be a total badass again, but in the meantime, just let me help and take care of you," he raised the spoon again to Castiel's mouth, "Please."

Castiel opened his mouth reluctantly and accepted the spoon to his mouth.

"Now that wasn't too hard, was it?" Dean smirked playfully at him.

Castiel just glared at him but accepted the next spoon anyway.

"Boys, I think I found something." Bobby's voice called from the table.

All their eyes turned towards him expectantly.

He raised his worried eyes towards them.

"And it’s not good news."


	9. Chapter 9

"What? Why?" 

Dean asked voice full of worry and panic.

Bobby glanced at the three of them looking concerned and troubled.

"Alright, at first, I thought that whatever is on this arrow is a special poison that is specific to angels or something, but then I found out that it is some kind of handmade poison." Bobby announced.

"Handmade? What do you mean?" Sam inquired in confusion.

"Someone had actually made this poison." Bobby answered. "The strangest thing is that I found blood in it. Blood that contain a large amount of sulphur."

"Demon's blood!" Sam exclaimed. "Why demon's blood? That doesn't make sense!"

"Actually it does." Castiel spoke for the first time.

"How's that?"

"There was a rumor that no one knew if it was true or not." Castiel explained "It was thought that if an angel was injected with demon's blood it would weaken hem but not killing them, its effect become stronger he higher the rank of the demon the blood was taken from. But It was never done before, so no one knew if that really works or not."

"Well, apparently it works." Dean retorted.

"But if that doesn't kill you, then why are you like that?" Sam asked still looking confused.

"Because the blood is mixed with four different types of poison." Bobby announced. "Each poison has different effect. One of them paralyze the body, another stops the function of the lungs, the third cause fever and raising in temperature, and the last weakens the nervous system."

Tense silence filled the room after Bobby's announced. Everyone in the room looked panicked and terrified.

"Wait, if that's true, then how the hell am I still alive?" Castiel demanded.

"All of these poisons spreads slowly in the body. Maybe when they are combined they became extra slow. Whoever made that thing wanted you to die slowly."

Silence returned to the room. Sam was staring at Castiel eyes full sadness, while Dean wrapped his trembling arms around his lover bringing him closer to his body like he was trying to protect him from harm.

"I told you it's not good news." Bobby murmured sadly as an apology.

They sat in silence for a long time each of them not knowing what to do next.

"We can't just sit here like that and let Cas dies!." Dean exclaimed cutting the heavy silence. "There must be something we can do! A cure or something!."

"I don't think there is a cure for something like that, son." Bobby said sadly.

"Then try to find something!"

"Dean," Castiel held Dean's hand in his own and looked at him sadly. "It's okay."

"No, Cas! it's not!" Dean yelled. "You are not going to die! We won't let you! There must be something that can save you!"

"Dean is right." Sam interjected. "We can't just sit here and cry. There must be a spell, potion or something that can cure Cas."

Bobby gazed at them thoughtfully. His eyes stayed on Castiel for a long time then he made up his mind.

"Then, don't you just sit there and come over here, idjits! There is an angel here to save."

***

Sam, Dean and Bobby sat at the table, mugs of coffee surrounding them.

Sam was on his laptop, while Dean and Bobby hit the books.

A movement at the bed caught there attention.

They all turned towards the bed to find a very tired looking Castiel trying to stand up while supporting himself heavily on the wall.

"What the hell do you think yourself doing!?" Dean shot up from his chair so fast and ran to support Castiel before he lost his balance.

"I want to help." Castiel answered trying to hide how tired he was by determination.

"You need to rest." Dean retorted as he tried to return Castiel to the bed but the angel resisted.

"I think I have rested enough." Castiel retorted back angrily.

"Cas, we got this. You really should stay rested." Sam said trying to calm him.

"I am not going to lie down on the bed all day while you do all the work. I can help!"

"Cas, go back to bed!" Dean ordered angrily.

"No, Dean! I won't! and there is noth-" Castiel gasped harshly interrupting his angry retort and clutched his chest in pain leaning heavily against the wall.

"Cas! what's wrong?!" Dean panicked as he tried to support him. Sam and Bobby were on their feet immediately and rushed to them.

Castiel raised his eyes to them and they all were horrified to find blood falling heavily from his mouth.

Castiel collapsed and they all supported him before he hit the floor and dragged him to the bed.

Castiel was unconscious and breathing heavily when they were laying him on the bed.

"Why does he have to be so stubborn!" Dean said in frustration. "He never listens! He doesn't even care what will happen to him! Only care about others!"

"Jeez, I wonder where he got that from." Bobby murmured rolling his eyes.

Dean ignored his comment as he sat heavily on the bed next to his unconscious lover and grabbed a tissue then started cleaning the blood from his mouth.

Sam and Bobby watched him in silence. Dean's eyes remained on Castiel. He was afraid. Hell, he was terrified of losing him.

Castiel becomes worse every day and they still didn't find a way to help him.

Castiel was dying. And Dean had no idea how to stop it.

Dean promised Castiel that he will make sure that he would be fine. But Dean had no idea how to keep that promise which pained Dean to no end, making him feel completely helpless. But he won't just sit here watching the love of his life die in front of him like that. 

If Castiel dies, Dean will too.

"We need to find a cure." Dean said slowly, determination filling his voice. He raised his eyes and gazed at his brother and adopted father. "And fast."


	10. Chapter 10

Three days!

Three fucking days and they still didn't come up with something.

They found hundredth of gemstones, plants, waters and herbs that can heal, but most of them exist in another continent or just a myth.

None of them slept for the past three days, and still didn't seem enough.

Apparently, very few things that can actually cure any poison but were impossible to be found fast enough.

Castiel became even worse if that was possible. He can't walk anymore; completely lost feeling of his legs, can't even set down, can barely raise his arms, coughing blood became worse, eyes always glazed over as if he was trying so hard to stay focused and it seemed that his lungs sometimes forgot how to work.

Castiel was dying. Fast.

And Dean had no idea how to stop it.

"Guys! I think I found something this time!" Sam exclaimed suddenly.

"That is what you said the first hundred times." Dean grunted pessimistically.

"No, I think this time I really found something."

That got Dean and Bobby's attention.

"What is it?" Bobby questioned looking hopeful.

"A magical herb called Sanjeevani" Sam explained "According to Hindu mythology it has the power to cure any malady or poison. It was believed that medicines prepared from this herb could revive a dead person."

" Is that a real thing? Not just a legend?" Dean asked trying not to look too hopeful.

"It is not just a legend. It is a real thing. People in India use it to treat rare diseases and poisons."

"Where can we find it?" 

"It grows on the hills of tropical areas, particularly the Arawali Mountain terrains from east to west in India."

"How the hell are we going to India? By the time we come back it would be too late" Dean protested.

"I didn't say anything about going to India. What I did say is that they use it regularly in India and that it is a Hindu thing, so, obviously we need to find a person who is Indian, Hindu, lives in America and preferably a witch or clergyman or something who have knowledge on herbs and things like that."

"How the hell are we going to find someone like that right now? We can't drive around the country searching for someone with these specifications."

"I think I know someone." Bobby announced suddenly looking unsure.

"You do?" Both Sam and Dean asked looking at him expectantly.

"Her name is Aria Yadav" Bobby responded "She is a hunter but can do some spells and charms and very religious. She is also Hindu which is a bonus."

"Where can we find her?" Dean asked his heart beating so fast. There is hope, he can save Castiel. His lover is going to be fine.

"Yeah, that's the problem." Bobby crushed some of his hope. "She hates my guts and wants me dead. I am not sure if she will actually help if we ask her."

"We will handle it." Sam stated in determination. "Just tell us where she usually stay."

"All I know is that she has a cabin in a forest in California."

"California?!" Dean exclaimed "But that will take us two days to reach and another two days to come back! I don't think Cas has that much of a time!"

"Dean, we don't have any other option." Sam reasoned " We just have to try to drive faster than normal to shorten the time."

Dean hesitated and moved his gaze towards the sleeping Castiel on the bed who was completely unaware of what's happening around him, and realized that Sam was right, they really don't have any other option.

"Go pack what you will need." He ordered and Sam stood up and went to his room to pack his things.

Dean returned his gaze to Castiel again looking unsure and extremely worried.

"Dean, don't worry. I will be here with him all the time." Bobby soothed trying to reassure him.

"I know, I just," Dean hesitated "Can you give me a moment with him? Alone? Please?"

"Sure, kid" Bobby said gruffly standing up and leaving the room.

Dean walked towards the bed and sat on his knees next to Castiel's head.

"Cas?" Dean whispered softly carding his fingers in his lover's hair. "Cas? Can you wake up for a second?"

Castiel's eyes opened slowly, looking unfocused at first then rested on Dean's face.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel whispered with a barely there voice.

"Hey, Cas." Dean smiled sadly at him. "look Cas, Me and Sam are going away for a few days to get you the cure to save you."

"Are you going to be safe?" Castiel whispered eyes full of concern.

Dean shook his head in disbelief. Only Castiel would worry about someone else while he was dying.

"Yes, Cas. I will be fine." Dean took Castiel's hand in his. "Cas, I need you to promise me something."

Castiel looked at him questioningly and gestured to him to continue.

"Promise me that you won't die." Dean's voice shook. "Promise me that you will hold on and won't give up. Promise me that you will fight this." Dean took a deep breath to stop the tears from falling "Promise me that you won't leave me."

Castiel stared at him eyes full of sadness.

"I will if you promised me something in return." 

"What?" 

Castiel tightened his hand around Dean's "Promise that if things didn't go as planned, if I didn't make it, you won't do anything stupid. Promise me that you won't try selling your soul or something. Don't do anything that will make you regret. Don't try to bring me back."

"No, Cas! you can't ask that of me! You can't think like that!" Dean grabbed Castiel's hand with both of his "I can't live without you, Cas! you are the best thing that ever happened to me, I live for you. You are the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. You are everything. You can't take that away from me. I can't lose you. I will die without you, Cas!"

Dean started to cry softly. Castiel's free hand raised to cup Dean's cheek gently brushing away his tears.

"You won't lose me, Dean. I will always come back to you. I will always find my way back to you. Don't ever believe otherwise."  
Dean leaned into Castiel's touch.

"I will save you, Cas." Dean whispered voice determined. "We will overcome this. I will make sure of that. Just please promise me."

Castiel smiled warmly. "I will try my best to stay alive. Now your turn."

Dean looked at him pained. "Cas, I can't promise you that."

"You can, and you will."

Dean shut his eyes and let more tears to fall.

"I promise." He said in a small voice.

Castiel caressed his cheek gently. "I am sorry, Dean. For putting you through all of this."

"Not your fault, Cas." Dean muttered resting his head on Castiel's chest. "Don't be sorry."

They stayed like that for what felt like hours both letting there tears fall without stopping them, unwilling to let go of each other, afraid that it might be the last time to be in the other's arms.

***

Sam knocked on the door then opened it. He stood there for a few seconds watching them in each other's arms, and his heart aches for them. 

"Dean? Come on, we need to go." Sam called hating himself for taking this moment away from them.

Dean moved away unwillingly looking like he wanted to stay in his lover's arms forever instead.

He leaned down and kissed Castiel softly.

"See you soon, Cas." he murmured against his lips.

"You too, Dean." Castiel murmured back.

Dean stood up wiping his tears in his sleeve and walked towards Sam.

"Let's go. We have a long way to drive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there is any mistake in the mythology or anything sorry about that, it turned out am not that good in researching but I tried to make it as good as possible :\


	11. Chapter 11

There was a tense silence in the car for a few miles.

Neither of them really wanted to talk.

Sam kept sending worried looks at his brother.

To Sam, Dean was on the verge of breaking down and was barely keeping it together.

All of this was very unfair. Dean and Castiel deserved to be happy. They deserved more time than this. 

If Castiel didn't make it Sam had no idea what was he going to do. It would tear them apart. Neither of them would be able to handle it, especially Dean who might do something stupid in his grief. 

They need to save Castiel. If he died, both Winchesters would be close behind him.

"How are you holding up?" Sam broke the silence when he couldn't bare it any longer.

Dean glanced at him for a second.

"Good. Of course if you ignored the fact that The love of my life is dying while I am in the other side of the country looking for a cure that might not work or get it on time." Dean replied bitterly.

"Dean, we will save him." Sam stated in determination.

Dean was silent for a few seconds that Sam thought he wouldn't answer at all.

"I am scared, Sam." Dean whispered surprising Sam.

"Of what?" Sam asked quietly already knowing the answer.

"Of losing him." Dean murmured sadly. "I won't handle it, I can't handle it, Sam. I can't know what happiness felt like and then having it taken away from me like that."

Sam was really shocked. Dean never talked about his feelings, and that is a proof of how much all of this was affecting him, how much pain he was in.

"You won't lose him, Dean." Sam promised. "If you haven't noticed, Cas always finds a way to come back to you. "

"What if he couldn't come back from this one? What if he dies this time it would be the last time?"

Sam didn't know how to answer that. Dean was right, Castiel won't be able to always come back. So Sam didn't answer.  
After a few minutes Dean spoke again.

"You know what's crazy?" Dean asked voice small and sad. " the fact that I actually thought about a future together at some point. A future where we can have a nice life with a couple of children maybe and then we can grow old together."

Dean laughed bitterly shaking his head. It was an ugly laugh that made Sam's heart ache.

"I was so damn stupid." Dean added bitterly "Stupid for thinking that I can have that. That I deserve that. That I can actually be happy."

"But you do deserve that, Dean." Sam interjected. "You have been through so much, dealt with many unbearable things. You deserve to be happy. Both of you."

"How can you be so sure about that?"

"Because you are my brother. And Cas is my brother too. You two are the best men I have ever known. You two saved so many lives, saved the world many times. So, yes you two deserve to be happy, deserve each other. Even if you idiots believed otherwise."

Dean stared at him for what felt like hours expression unreadable.

"Thanks, Sam." He whispered gratefully.

Sam nodded smiling at him.

"Now, let's focus on saving your stupid Angel."

***

Bobby was sitting on a chair next to Castiel's bed thinking.

He stared at Castiel's face, afraid that if he even blinked he might disappear.

The angel had really grown on him, he even started to consider him as his third son. It was kind of impossible not to like him anyway, he had a good heart, always trying to do the right thing. Somehow he can be both a deadly killing machine and a clueless five year old who had no idea how the toaster worked and spend his afternoon watching historical programs to point out the wrong things they say . Bobby would never admit that to anyone but he founds that mix endearing.

Also, the fact that he makes Dean happy. Really happy, for the first time since forever. He never saw Dean like this before.   
looking like a lovesick puppy all the time, with a goofy smile on his face every day. And the best part was that Castiel felt the same and looked the same, minus the goofy smile of course since he rarely smiles anyway, keeping all his smiles for Dean and Dean alone.

Bobby kept watching Castiel, his heart ached at how fragile Castiel looked then. Looking too small and breakable in the bed.  
Bobby won't be able to handle the pain of losing a son again. He already went through it before with the other two idjits and he couldn't handle going through it again.

Besides, if Castiel died, Dean would too, and Sam won't be able to handle the loss of both of them and would follow them soon after, which means that Bobby would lose all his boys at once.

His thoughts were thankfully interrupted by a sharp gasp coming from Castiel.

Bobby was on his feet immediately and his heart fell at what he saw.

Castiel was shivering violently and gasping for breath.

Bobby hurried to open all the windows and the ceiling fan to get some fresh air into the room.

He ran back to Castiel and grabbed his shoulders to try and calm him down and lessen his shivering.

After agonizing fifteen minutes Castiel finally calmed down and Bobby's heart returned to its normal speed.

"How do you feel now?" Bobby asked pushing Castiel's hair away from his sweaty forehead.

"Terrible." Castiel choked out still trying to regulate his breathing.

"You are going to be fine, Son. Sam and Dean will be back with the a cure as fast as possible." Hopefully. He added in his head.

Castiel just nodded as if he were trying to humor him then closed his eyes to try to go back to sleep.

Bobby watched him while he slept. His heart was aching even more now. To see such a powerful being that saved them hundredth of times brought to his knees like this. 

"You are going to be alright, Son." Bobby whispered to the sleeping angel "We will save you."


	12. Chapter 12

After driving for two days straight without stopping once, and after wandering in the woods and asking around for almost half a day, they finally found the cabin.

They stood outside the door, they looked at each other suddenly unsure.

"Here goes nothing." Dean murmured under his breath while he knocked on the door.

They waited and when nothing happened he knocked again then Sam started calling.

"Miss Yadav! Are you here? We really need your help! So please open the door!." Sam called in his too polite voice.  
Still no answer.

"That's it." Dean kicked open the door carelessly.

"Dean!" Sam hissed at his brother. "You can't just break into the cabin! She will never help us like that."

"She is obviously not here, so instead of waiting outside we will for her inside." Dean determined while he walked inside the cabin, Sam followed him still looking unsure.

The cabin was small, there wasn't much furniture except for a large table with many herbs, potions and books on top of it, and a huge bookcase filled with different sizes of books.

There was a small bed in one corner and another corner made into a small kitchen.

"Well, looks like there is no one here." Dean remarked still looking around.

"Maybe you should look more closely." A female voice said from behind them with a thick Indian accent.

Sam and Dean turned around quickly to find themselves face to face with a gun.

Behind the gun stood a very Indian, very beautiful woman, the kind Dean would totally hit on, but right now, not so much. Unless she had blue eyes, dark hair and Castiel's body, Dean won't be interested.

She had long black hair tied into a very long pony tail, dark skin, and wide brown eyes which were glaring at them right now.

"Are you Aria Yadav?" Sam asked in a calming voice trying not to spook her.

"Who's asking? Who the hell are you two? And how did you find me."

"I am Sam and this is my brother Dean. And Bobby led us to you."

The moment she heard Bobby's name she got even more angry and very ready to shoot them.

"Get out!" she snapped. "And never come back! Or I swear I will kill you."

"We need your help!" Dean exclaimed trying to make her listen.

"Why would I ever help you? I will never help someone coming from Bobby." She pointed at the door. "Out! Now!"

Dean approached her slowly raising his hands in front of him. 

"Please, "He begged. "Our friend is dying, and you are the only one who can save him."

"And why is that?"

"With Sanjeevani herb." Sam answered.

She paused for a moment her eyes looking at their sad, tired and broken faces.

"He is not just a friend, isn't he?" she asked her eyes on Dean.

Dean nodded in surrender his eyes begging her. "Please,"

she considered them for a few seconds her eyes turned thoughtful then she lowered the gun slowly.

 

"You can call me Aria." She stated. "I will help you, but that doesn't mean that I won't kill Bobby if I saw him."

Sam and Dean sagged in relief. "We understand." Sam responded with a smile.

"Then, come on. Let's save your 'friend'"

***

Castiel felt terrible.

He can't breathe half of the time, he can't move, all the blood in his body seemed like it was trying to get out of his mouth and he can't stay focus almost hallucinating all the time.

He knew he didn't have much time.

But he promised Dean that he won't die. Promised him that he won't leave. And he will try to fulfill that promise.

He was keeping part of his strength and grace to keep him alive as long as possible.

Without it, he would have been dead for a while now.

Since he couldn't do anything now except laying down and looking miserable, he tried to think who might have done this to him.

It was obviously someone that held a huge grudge against him.

And since all Heaven and Hell wanted him dead he was not that surprised.

Speaking of Hell, why the demons at the old factory didn't kill him when he collapsed? He was vulnerable and it would have been really easy to kill him, but they just hit and kicked him, which doesn't make much sense to him.

And why didn't the demons tried to attack the motel room? They didn't leave the town since it was a little hard to move right now. And he was sure he didn't kill all the demons there, then what are they waiting for?

Did they know that he was poisoned? Are they the ones who did this to him? Or was it the angels? Or both?  
Sure they warded the room, but since when that ever stopped either of them before? 

It's going to be hard to find out who did this since everyone wanted him dead.

He just hoped Dean would come back soon.

Because he was pretty sure he won't be able to hold out much longer.


	13. Chapter 13

Sam and Aria were standing at the only table in the cabin.

Aria was preparing the cure. it turned out that Sanjeevani on its own won't work and must be mixed with other plants and stones which, Thank God, available in the cabin but will take a little longer to prepare.

Sam was trying to assist her while Dean watched them from the bed.

He was checking his phone every five minutes like he was afraid Bobby might call any moment to tell them the bad news.

"So, since I am helping you the least you can do is tell me your story and your friend's " Aria remarked while crushing something inside a bowl.

"What do you want to know?" Sam inquired glancing curiously at her.

"Well, for starters why your friend was poisoned with such a powerful poison in the first place."

"Probably because there is a price on his head." Dean replied bitterly

"Why? Who wants him dead?"

"All angels in heaven and all the demons in hell."

She froze for a few seconds then spoke again. "Your friend is not human, isn't he?"

"Nope." Sam and Dean responded together.

"Then what is he?"

"An angel." Dean answered amused.

"I know you think he is an angel since it is obvious there is a thing between the two of you, but I meant his species." Aria said rolling her eyes.

"No, I mean he is an angel. A real one."

Her eyes widened as she stared at them both.

"I shouldn’t have asked." She murmured under her breath.

Sam was starting to fall asleep standing up, since he hadn't really slept for more than three days.

"Sam, if you are tired you can sleep on my bed for a few hours." Aria stated looking at him with sympathy.

"No, no. I'm good. I want to help." He murmured almost falling asleep while talking.

"I will help Aria, you go rest." Dean ordered him standing up from the bed and walked towards the table.

Sam didn't argue anymore. He walked to the bed and threw himself on it, falling asleep the moment his head rested on the pillow.

Dean and Aria worked quietly for a few minutes.

"So, how long you two have been together?" she asked curiously.

Dean blushed and avoided her eyes.

"Almost two years." He muttered.

"But you knew him longer than that, right?"

" Yeah. For Eight years."

"Oh my! You hid your feelings for six years until you decided to act on them? I think you broke a record."

"How did you know that I had feelings for him all this time?" Dean's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"It is written all over your face." She smiled sadly. " saw that look before."

Dean just stared at her for a few seconds then asked.

"Why did you agree to help us?"

Aria didn't answer for a few seconds her eyes full of sadness and pain.

"I lost someone who meant the world to me." She answered her voice shook a little. "He died right in front of me and I couldn't do anything to save him." She took a deep breath to calm herself. " I don't want anyone to feel that pain and grief, and when I saw you so desperate to save your lover I had to help, can't let anyone feel that pain."

Dean glanced at her sadly. "I am sorry for your loss. And thank you for helping us."

"Just promise that when he gets on his feet again you will let me meet him. I always wanted to meet an angel."

Dean chuckled. "You got it. I am sure he will like you."

They fell into comfortable silence then. 

An hour later Dean started to feel tired too.

"Go sleep next to your brother. I am almost finished. When I am done I will wake you."

Dean just nodded tiredly and went to lie down next to his gigantic brother.

***

Bobby was on the verge of panic.

Castiel was even worse than before. 

His temperature increased, so he was hot as an oven and no matter what Bobby did the temperature refused to decrease.

He was hallucinating. Unable to tell what's real and what's not anymore.

And that's of course plus the symptoms he already had from the start.

Bobby was helpless. He had no idea what to do.

He tried to call the Winchesters many times to ask them to hurry up but couldn't reach them for some unknown reason.

Right now, Bobby was sitting beside the bed watching Castiel as he shivers violently, face full of cold sweat, murmuring nonsense under his breath, eyes opened wide and unseeing as if he couldn't focus them anymore.

Bobby didn't know if he will be able to wait for the Winchesters.

He wiped Castiel's face with a wet cloth, cleaning the sweat from his forehead.

What if Castiel died before they came back? What if the cure didn't work? what if-

His musings were harshly interrupted by the sound of the motel room's door breaking open violently.

He shot up to his feet fast and turned around to find two demons standing at the open door smirking at him.

"Hi there, old man." One of them sneered. "We heard that there is a dying angel in here. So, we came to put him out of his misery."


	14. Chapter 14

"Sam! Dean!"

Dean and Sam woke up immediately at the sound of their names being yelled.

They both turned wide startled eyes towards Aria who was grinning triumphantly while a small bottle filled with a bluish liquid.

"I did it! I finished the antidote!" she cried triumphantly.

They both got off the bed so fast and ran to her smiling widely.

"Oh my god, thank you!" Sam smiled in relief as she gave the bottle to Dean.

"No need to thank me. I was happy to help. Now you need to go back fast. I don't think he will be able to hold on much longer."

Dean stared at the bottle in his hand feeling hope rising in his chest.

Castiel will be fine! They saved him! He isn't going to die!

"Come on, Dean! Let's go back to the car. We need to go now to save time." Sam urged pulling Dean towards the door.

"wait!" Dean pulled away from Sam and walked back to Aria and pulled her into a hug surprising both her and Sam.

"Thank you." He murmured in her ear.

She smiled softly and hugged him back, then pulled away after a few seconds.

"You're welcome." She responded. Then started pushing him towards the door. "Come on! Don't stand like that! There is an angel that needs to be saved!"

Dean nodded and turned to his brother.

"Let's go and save the angel."

***

Bobby pulled out Ruby's knife slowly from his pocket and moved to stand between the demons and Castiel.

"How did you get here? We warded the room!" he grunted.

"Since when that stopped us from getting what we want?" the demon smirked taking a step towards Bobby.

"Move away, old man. We only want him." The other demon snarled at him.

"Over my dead body!" he barked gripping the knife tightly.

"That can be arranged." The first demon hissed jumping suddenly at Bobby and threw him across the room.

Bobby hit the wall hard and fell to the floor but he got up fast and slashed at the closest demon.

He hurt the one who threw in the chest which made him angrier and jumped at him again but Bobby fought back this time.

During their fight Bobby saw from the corner of his eye, the other demon standing over Castiel on the bed with an angel sword in his hand and getting ready to stab the Angel in the heart

***  
Sam and Dean reached the car and got inside fast.

Dean started the car immediately and drove at high speed.

"Call Bobby. See how things are going." Dean ordered not taking his eyes of the road.

Sam pulled out his phone and dialed Bobby's number.

***

Bobby pushed the demon away then threw the knife at the other demon who was about to stab Castiel.

The knife implanted itself in the demon's chest.

The demon glowed red from the inside then fell to the floor dead.

The remaining demon was enraged, And grabbed Bobby from the neck slamming him into the wall and started to choke the life out of him.

***

"He is not answering." Sam announced worriedly.

Dean glanced at him eyes filled with worry.

"Try again."

Sam did. 

***

Bobby tried to pull the demon's hands away from his throat but the demon was too strong.

He tried helplessly to reach for anything to defend himself, noting that the knife was still in the dead demon's chest and there was no way he can reach to it right now.

The room started to darken as he struggled to breath. 

When he was about to lose conscious from lack of air in his lungs, the demon screamed as bright, white light burned his eyes out.

The hands released Bobby and he fill to the ground with dead demon and passed out.

***

"Still not answering."

"Okay, okay." Dean exhaled "No need to panic. Maybe he didn't hear it or he is in the bathroom. I am sure everything is fine."

Sam just nodded but still felt panic rising in his chest.

And Dean must be the same because he increased the speed of the car even more.

***

Castiel collapsed heavily to the floor struggling to breathe after he smited the demon.

He felt the presence of the demons the moment they entered the room but he thought it was another hallucination.

But then he heard Bobby's shouts and knew it was real this time.

He watched helplessly as one of them approached him to kill him and he was unable to defend himself.

But then Bobby threw his only effective weapon at the demon to save Castiel leaving himself unarmed.

Castiel focused all his remaining grace to give him enough strength to save Bobby.

He crawled out of the bed and got on his feet.

He leaned heavily against the wall to stay upright since he can barely feel his legs anymore but his remaining grace helped a little with that.

He stumbled towards the demon who was choking Bobby, and used all his remaining grace and strength to smite him.

Now he was lying on the floor. The demon dead beside him taking away his last bit of grace that was keeping him alive until now.

He couldn't breathe, his lungs stopped completely. He can't move any part of his body, he was completely paralyzed now.

No. No, no , no. he can't die now! He promised Dean that he won't!

The room started to fade away, his vision had dark edges and his conscious was slipping away fast.

Looks like he won't be able to keep that promise.

Suddenly he saw a pair of feet in his line of vision.

He raised his eyes slowly to see their owner's face.

He saw a very familiar face but he was too tired to remember who was that.

"I am so sorry, Castiel." The person said sadly. "The only way for that poison to leave your body completely, is for you to die."

Where did he here that voice before? It seemed very familiar. It doesn't matter now anyway. 

Just when he was about to slip away, he felt a liquid being poured into his mouth.

He heard the person speak again but he didn't hear him.

His last thought before the darkness consumed him was  
'I am sorry Dean'

Then he was gone.

***

Bobby woke up suddenly and gasped for breath.

He sat there on the floor trying to remember what happened when his eyes landed on Castiel sprawled out on the floor.

"Oh no. no, no , no" he crawled quickly towards.

"Cas! come on, hold on a little longer!" he cried then checked Castiel's pulse.

He didn't find any.

He placed his ear on his chest but he heard nothing.

"No," Bobby choked out tears already started to fall from his eyes. "No Castiel, please. Don't go like this. Come on, you are stronger than this."

He got no response, Bobby started to sob loudly when it finally dawned on him.

Castiel was dead.


	15. Chapter 15

Dean stopped the car in front of the motel room.

Somehow he managed to make a two days drive into one day.

They got out of the car fast and ran to the door and knocked loudly on it.

"Bobby, come on! Open up! We got the cure!" Dean shouted through the door.

They waited for a few seconds but got no response.

"We don't have time for this, Bobby! We need to hurry."

The door opened slowly revealing a very pale Bobby with bloodshot eyes. He looked like he spent the last few hours crying his eyes out.

Sam's heart filled at the sight of him, tears started already to fall from his eyes when he understood what that means.

Dean pretended that he hadn't noticed.

"Move out of the way, Bobby! We need to give Cas the cure now." Dean exclaimed while he was trying to get into the room.

Bobby stopped him by a gentle hand on his shoulder, a pained look on his face.

"Dean, I am so sorry," Bobby whispered in a pained voice, "But you were too late."

Dean went still and stared hard at him.

"No, no, t-that's n-not true," he stammered, "We-we got the cure. He-he promised! He promised me that he wouldn't go!"

Sam started to sob quietly as Dean pushed his way into the room.

***  
Dean stood there by the door and stared at Castiel's still body on the bed.

He walked slowly towards the bed, his steps heavy and defeated.

He fell to his knees next to the bed. The place he sat on a few days ago. The only difference was that Castiel's beautiful blue eyes weren't staring at his own this time. he will never see those beautiful eyes ever again.

He stared at his lover's very dead face, and finally allowed the tears to fall freely from his eyes.

"Y-you promised me," he sobbed, taking Castiel's hand in his own. His hand was so cold. "You promised me that you would never leave me. I told you I can't lose you. I told you that I only live for you. But you still left me. How could you do this to me? What the hell am I going to do now? How can I continue my life without you now?"

He sobbed loudly as he buried his face into Castiel's chest. He didn't care that Sam and Bobby were there and watching him. He didn't care that there was two dead demons on the floor. He didn't care that he was crying loudly.

The only thing that mattered to him was gone. He will never see Castiel's sweet smile again. He will never see the warmth and love in Castiel's eyes again. He will never hear his voice calling his name again. He will never be happy again.

Dean started to wail and cry harder. He failed. He had failed Castiel, failed to save him. The only time that his lover needed him and he failed him miserably. He was a failure. 

Bobby and Sam were sobbing quietly behind him but their sadness and pain would never compare with his.

The motel room's door banged open suddenly. Twelve demons or more broke into the room, startling everyone.

Two demons grabbed Sam and Bobby and held them down.

Then another demon grabbed Dean and pulled him away from Castiel's body.

Dean was limp and unmoving in the demon's arms, his eyes never leaving Castiel. Probably not even noticing what's going on around him, or didn't care.

"What's going on? What do you want from us?" Sam shouted as he struggled against the demon holding him.

"I don't want anything from you, boys," Crowley answered him as he walked into the room. A smug smile on his face. "I already took what I wanted"

"What are you doing here, Crowley?" Sam growled at him angrily. 

"I came to admire my work, of course. Why else would I be here?" 

That captured Dean's attention. He turned his eyes towards the King of Hell slowly.

"It was you," he whispered, "You are the one who shot that damned arrow at him. You are the one who killed him."

Crowley smirked proudly, "I must say I did a wonderful job. I am really proud of myself."

Dean thrashed violently in the demon's arms, screaming.

"You son of a bitch!!!! I will kill you!! I will rip your heart out! I will not rest until I see you dead!! I swear, I will end you!" Dean screamed at the top of his lungs as he thrashed and pushed at the demon holding him trying to break free.

Crowley ignored him completely. 

"Take them outside," he ordered the demons, "And take the body, too."

He turned his gaze towards Castiel, his smirk widening.

"We are going to have so much fun with it."


	16. Chapter 16

The Winchesters and Bobby struggled against the demons holding them down all the way out of the room.

Two demons grabbed Castiel and dragged him on the floor outside the room.

They were forced to their knees in the parking lot while Castiel was thrown carelessly to the ground.

"What do you want? You got what you wanted. He's already dead, what else do you want to do to him?" Sam shouted angrily as he struggled harder.

"I am just going to make sure he is not planning to come back or anything," Crowley smirked smugly at him.

"Don't you dare touch him, you bastard!" Bobby barked at him.

"And what are you going to do exactly?" Crowley retorted, smirking wider.

"I swear if you even tried to lay a hand on him I will-" Dean was shouting but Crowley cut him off.

"You will what?" Crowley walked towards Dean and brought his face closer to him. "You couldn't even save him. You let him die.  
You failed him. How ironic. He saved you million times, and the only time he needed you, you failed him miserably."

Dean's heart broke into million pieces as he realized that Crowley's words were completely true.

"That's not true," he denied weakly, "We got him a cure. We were going to save him."

"Oh, you mean this?" Crowley took the cure bottle from Dean's pocket. "That wouldn't have saved him. The poison was too powerful for such a thing."

Dean's eyes widened in panic and despair at that.

"So, in conclusion, you gave your poor angel false hope and you missed his last moments for nothing."

Dean went limp completely in the demon's arms and let his tears fall once again and didn't care that he was crying and whimpering in front of Crowley and his demons.

Crowley was right. He couldn't have saved Castiel. 

Sam moved suddenly and drove his demon killing knife into the demon holding him down.

The demon fell to the ground dead and then Sam drove the knife to the one holding Bobby.

"Get them!" Crowley ordered the demons.

The demons attacked Sam and Bobby, who fought them with all they had.

Dean was unaware of what's going on around him. He didn't even notice that Sam killed the demon holding him down.

"Dean! Come on! Move! We need to get Castiel out of here." Sam yelled at him.

Dean still didn't move. What's the point? He couldn't save him while he was alive, so what's the point in saving him while he was dead?

More demons came. They probably possessed everyone in the motel and around the area. They now exceeded twenty, so Sam and Bobby had no chance and soon were held down yet again.

"You should have known that was pointless," Crowley remarked smugly.

"What the hell do you want?!" Sam screamed.

"Like I said before, I will just make sure he won't come back."

"How are you planning to do that?"

"By ruining his body, of course. So, he wouldn't find anything to go back to anymore," he answered, his grin widening.

Bobby and Sam froze at that and stared at him with panic.

Dean's eyes widened. "No! You can't do that!" he screamed and started to struggle violently in the arms of the new demon holding him.

"Take the body to the middle of the lot," Crowley ordered completely ignoring his hostages.

"No! Stop!" Sam and Bobby shouted.

The three of them kept screaming and shouting while two demons dragged Castiel on the ground and threw him in the middle of the lot.

Crowley walked towards Dean and pulled the Impala's keys from his pocket.

Dean struggled harder than ever, trying to take the keys back.

Crowley tossed the keys to one of the demons.

"Drive their car and bring it closer to the body. Then drive another one to the other side."

The demon ran to do as he was told.

"What are you doing?" Dean gulped. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Simple, I am going to tie his arms to your car and his legs to the other car so I can rip his limbs apart by driving both cars at the same time."

The three of them kept screaming at him to stop and struggling violently while the demons brought the two cars towards Castiel.

"How will you feel when your lover gets ripped apart by your own car?" Crowley said, leaning towards Dean.

Dean's screams turned into whimpers and sobs, realizing how helpless he was.

"Tie him to the cars," Crowley ordered.

One of the demons brought a rope and crouched down next to Castiel.

He grabbed the angel’s hands and started to tie them together.

The demon gasped in terror when suddenly one of the hands broke free and grabbed his neck harshly.

The demon's panicked eyes met ice cold blue ones which stared at him coldly.

"Didn't you know that it is wrong to mess with the dead?" A cold deep voice growled at him.

That was the last words the demon had heard before he was burned out.


	17. Chapter 17

A few hours ago.

"I am so sorry, Castiel," Gabriel said looking down at his dying brother sadly, " The only way for that poison to leave your body, is for you to die."

It looked like Castiel didn't even recognize him, but he can't blame him anyway.

Gabriel crouched down and pulled a small vial from his pocket filled with a colorless liquid.

He tilted Castiel's head gently and poured the liquid down his throat.

"This potion will help you," he said, carding his fingers through Castiel's hair. "It will not cure you, but when you die, it will give you a chance to fight your way back. But in order to do that, you must know what you are fighting for, remember who you need to come back to. Don't give up, Castiel. Fight back!"

Castiel's eyes closed and his head fell to the side when he drew his last breath.

Gabriel stared at his dead little brother, tears falling slowly from his eyes.

"Fight your way back, Castiel," he whispered. "Don't give up."

***  
Present

Everyone was frozen in shock and disbelief while Castiel stood up calmly, looking strong and very much alive.

Castiel gazed coldly at the faces in front of him, his face softened when it landed on his family.

Dean, Sam and Bobby were staring at him with wide eyes, mouths opened, unable to believe what they were seeing.

Crowley looked like he was about to shit himself.

"H-how?" Crowley stuttered, taking a step back in fear. "I killed you! You were dead! How the hell are you alive!?"

Castiel shrugged casually, "Maybe you weren't fast enough in trying to prevent me from coming back."

Crowley looked even more panicked then.

"Why are you standing like that!? Kill him, you Morons!" he shouted at his demons, "And this time, permanently!"

All twenty demons attacked Castiel at once, but he was ready for them.

***

Dean was completely frozen in place on the ground, eyes so wide he was worried they might fall out. His heart was pounding very fast in his chest, as he stared at his very much alive lover fighting more than twenty demons on his own.

Castiel was alive. Castiel didn't leave him. 

Dean wanted to go and help the angel, but he was in shock and can barely move.

Sam and Bobby were in the same state as he was. 

Is it possible that he might lose Castiel again after he just got him back because of the demons? Nah, if Castiel can fight death, then he can easily kill an army of demons on his own.

***

Castiel was a storm trapped inside a human body.

You can't really kill a storm, right? 

That was the only explanation than ran through Sam's mind as he watched Castiel killing three demons at once.

He can't believe Castiel was alive! 

Sure, Castiel was really hard to kill, but Sam thought this time was the last.

Sam's head was spinning. Maybe he was dreaming? Maybe he was knocked out and dreaming that Castiel was saving them?  
That made more sense. He can't let himself hope.

He turned his wide eyed gaze towards Bobby, who was so shocked Sam had to make sure he was breathing.

***

Bobby's heart pounded so hard.

Damn, that angel was so stubborn! Even in death!

That boy was truly and completely a Winchester.

He had just proven that fact.

***

The last demon hit the floor, dead.

Castiel stood there in the middle of the parking lot surrounded by bodies with his head held high, his hand closed around his blade which kept dripping blood to the floor.

He stared down at Crowley, who shrank back after all his demons were killed.

"Well, that didn't go as planned," Crowley croaked out, trying to sound cocky but the tremor in his voice didn't help. Then he disappeared into thin air.

Castiel glared at the spot he had been. 

He turned his gaze towards his family, still kneeling on the floor and still in shock.

He smiled hesitantly at them, then his gaze landed on Dean and his smile softened.

"Hello, Dean." He greeted warmly, his smile widening.

***

Dean's heart skipped at the familiar greeting.

He was staring with wide eyes. He was scared that if he blinked, Castiel would disappear or die again.

He stood up slowly on shaking legs and took a hesitant step towards his lover, then another, then he started running until he reached Castiel and threw himself in his arms, burying his face in his neck and started to sob pitifully.

"I- I thought you w-were gone. I thought y-you really left me this time," he sobbed into Castiel's neck.

Castiel's arms wrapped tightly around him and pressed his face into Dean's hair.

"I told you that I will never leave you," he whispered softly into Dean’s ear, "And that I will always come back to you. No matter what."

Dean cried harder and tightened his arms around his lover, still afraid he might disappear again.

They stood there in each other's arms, Dean sobbing while Castiel murmured sweet and soothing things to him.

Then, they felt another pair of arms wrapping around both of them. They looked up to see Sam's teary face smiling down at them.

"So what, we’re doing group hugs now?" Dean joked but didn't pull away.

"Right now, we do," Sam retorted, pulling both of them closer.

"Fine, I’ll allow it just this once."

Bobby stepped closer hesitantly, Sam grabbed him and pulled him into the hug.

"Really glad you’re here, Cas," Sam whispered, smiling at the angel.

"Me, too," Castiel answered, returning the smile.

They stood there for what felt like hours hugging.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"Can we go home now?"

Dean smiled broadly at him.

"Yeah, let's go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Gabriel is also alive :D you are welcome :D


	18. Chapter 18

The drive back to the bunker was nice.

Both Sam and Dean constantly looking in the rearview mirror every few minutes just to make sure Castiel was really here in the car with them.

Dean can't wipe the dopey smile off his face. Cas was here. Alive. And with them. And he wasn't going to leave.

He was now sure of it.

"Cas, I’m not complaining or anything, but how did you come back?" Sam asked suddenly.

"Sam!"

"I was just asking, Dean. Don't tell me that you’re not curious about it, too." Sam gave him his characteristic bitch face.

Dean didn't answer. Mainly because Sam was right, he really did want to know, but was afraid if he acknowledged it, Castiel would go again.

"Well?" Sam urged Castiel.

Castiel was silent for a few seconds before shifting his gaze between them.

"Well, I am pretty sure it’s Gabriel's doing," Castiel announced calmly, shocking them both.

"Say what?" Dean exclaimed.

"Cas, I am pretty sure Gabriel is dead. Why do you think he was the one who saved you?" Sam asked in confusion.

Castiel sighed then started to explain, "A few seconds before I…well…died, I saw someone in the room talking to me and poured something down my throat and I am sure that’s what helped me to come back. I didn't know who that was then, since I was really out of it, but now I remember the voice and I know it was him."

Both brothers went silent after Castiel finished.

"Wow," Sam breathed in surprise, "Gabriel is alive! I didn't see that coming."

"Yeah, and the worst part is, now we owe him. I hate that," Dean murmured angrily.

"He did save Cas, so I think you should give him some credit."

"Whatever." 

Castiel just smiled warmly and brought up one hand to rest it on Dean's shoulder and squeezed gently.

Dean smiled and placed his hand over Castiel's.

Maybe he did owe Gabriel. Just a little.

***

Gabriel smirked triumphantly when he heard their exchange.

Yes, he was eavesdropping on the Winchesters and his brother but for a good cause! He was just making sure his brother was really okay.

Or that's what he was telling himself anyway.

He was keeping an eye on his brother for a while now. Castiel had always been his favorite and hated the thought of something bad happening to him.

Also, he was kind of shipping him with Dean. So hard. Can you really blame him?

They were so good for each other and Gabriel couldn’t let anything tear them apart.

Call him sappy, but he cared a little too much about those idiots.

And he will make damn sure that the both of them are safe.

Even if it cost him his life.

***

"I failed you," Dean murmured into Castiel's bare chest.

They had just finished two rounds of desperate love making and were trying to catch their breath.

Castiel frowned in confusion and looked down at his lover.

"What? Why would you say that?" Castiel asked, cupping Dean's face gently to make Dean raise his eyes to him.

"Because it’s the truth," Dean retorted, feeling tears behind his eyelids but blinked to stop them from sliding down his cheeks. "I couldn't save you. I promised you that I would save you, that you were going to be fine, but I failed, Cas. You always saved me when I needed you, but when you needed me, I failed you."

Dean's eyes were filled with tears now, "I am so sorry, Cas. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve your love and protection. I can't offer you anything in return. Except my heart and that's not enough. I-"

"Dean, shut up," Castiel cut Dean off, his voice stern but gentle.

Dean snapped his mouth shut but still didn't look Castiel in the eyes.

"Dean, I don't expect anything from you," Castiel continued, voice sweet and gentle as he stroked Dean's face, "I love you. And I know you love me, and that's all I need. Besides, you did save me."

Dean furrowed his brow in confusion.

"In order to come back, I needed to fight back. To remember why I am fighting and who I need to come back to."  
Castiel moved to lay on his side so he could be face to face with Dean.

"I thought about you," he continued, stroking Dean's cheek, " I focused on you. On how much we need each other. On how much my death will affect you. On how much I love you. When I focused on all that, I was able to find my way back. To you."

Dean's tears fell from his eyes but he didn't care. 

"See? You did save me. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here right now. But I am. Because of you."

Dean sobbed and hid his face in Castiel's chest. He was so lucky! He had no idea what he had done to deserve Castiel. But he didn't care. All he cared about right now is the angel right in front of him.

"Please, Cas," he sobbed into his chest. "Please don't ever leave me."

Castiel held him tightly and whispered into his ear, "I will never leave you. And if I ever did, I will always find you and come back to you." He pressed a kiss to Dean’s hair, "And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you."

Dean chuckled softly, too overwhelmed from Castiel's words.

"You are a sap," he murmured softly.

"I am. But I am your sap."

Dean laughed then pressed his lips softly against Castiel's "Yeah, you are. And I’m yours."

Castiel smiled and kissed Dean's forehead.

"I love you, Cas."

"I know. I love you, too, Dean."

They then fell asleep, tangled in each other's arms and smiles on their faces. Each feeling safe and loved in the other's arms. Not caring about anything else outside this room.

This here, is enough for the both of them. they don't care what the future would bring to them.

they will face it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the end :D thanks to everyone who read this story. your comments and kudos always makes my day. and I really hope you will like my next stories too :D

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys like it so far :D please tell me what do you guys think ;)


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